So I’m a writer. I write. I write here. I write novels every November. I like that kind of writing, but I don’t love that kind of writing. It’s not me.
I am never fully myself when writing here or elsewhere. I am creating a caricature of either myself, or the world I see, or the worlds I imagine. This can be fun an illuminating. Getting feedback on it is certainly pleasant and often yields new and interesting thoughts or conversations. In the end, though, it’s still all happening at a high level. It’s not happening for me deep down.
When I write music, that is when it clicks. I don’t have to be direct, or talk about something in specifics. I can paint a mood. I can paint the mood I’m in. I can paint the location I’m in, or where I want to be. I can show someone what is really going on in my head and in my heart in a way that’s more finely tuned to that sort of thing. Spoken language is incredibly inefficient at communicating certain things, but music absolutely excels at it.
I’m sometimes told my music is weird. Well, so am I. I’m told some of my music is angry. Well, yes, I sometimes am. I’m told some of my music is catchy. That’s because I wrote it for you. I’m told some of my music is peaceful. Well, that’s how I like to be. I’ve been happy and sad and all of these things. I can pull songs out that I’ve written that communicate just about every mood I’ve ever been in.
Most of those songs you will never hear, because those moods are something only I think I should have to deal with. Some you will, and I hope they inspire something in you.
I also hope, that when language fails you, you’ll try to look inside and see if there’s a song forming in your heart that says it much better.
Then, learn how to get that song out, and share it with me.
That would be awesome.