Part of the fun of the Blogenning is that once a week someone chooses a topic for you. Some weeks it’s incredibly easy and some weeks you have nothing to say about that subject and just have to roll with it. This week Tom has decided we’re talking about Halloween costumes. I’ll let you decide where this one falls.
Tom is a Bastard. Not for choosing this theme, which admittedly, is not something I would normally write about. No, he’s a bastard for throwing a hell of a Halloween party, making it a costume party, and then going all out in every way possible to make his costumes.
This leaves me in a predicament of sorts. I want to put together an awesome costume, but things hold me back:
- I refuse to spend a lot of money on something I will only wear once. Therefore costumes must either be cheap enough for me not to care, or composed of expensive things I will wear all the damn time. I refuse to throw money at silly things I will never use when it could be better spent buying me shiny new musical equipment.
- I refuse to cut my hair. It’s just not gonna happen.
- I would prefer not to shave. This goatee takes a while to grown back and I look really stupid without it. (I probably look stupid with it too, but hey, we can’t win them all).
- I’m a large dude. Finding inexpensive costume pieces in my size is difficult, and expensive reusable costume pieces are even more expensive because of it. It’s a predicament I’ve gotten myself in to and not one I can complain about, but at the same time, it makes the whole process more difficult.
- I refuse to cross-dress because no one wants to see me in a dress. Trust me on this.
This is why two years ago I went as Slash. I borrowed a top hat (would have bought one too, but ran out of time), and I already owned everything else I would want need. I think I spent like $30 on a skull necklace and a wig, and I was good to go.
Last year I bought a fez and smoking jacket. I really put a lot of effort in to it, you know.
This year, I have no idea what to go as. I was thinking of going as Stevie Ray Vaughan simply as an excuse to own cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. Who would recognize that costume, though?
Maybe this year I’ll just show up as “fashionably late” so that everyone is drunk enough not to notice.
Just wear animal ears and something sexy. Be a cat.
The fluffy overlords have informed me that I am not worthy to dress as they do.
I may do it just to spite them.
ahem. dolly parton.
So, totally anonymous person who is totally not Grace:
See point 5.